i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
