Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
