I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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