hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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