Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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