The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize