The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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