Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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