You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
where am i from again
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.