ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...