Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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