Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
People in love make me want to vomit
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
