morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
