He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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