All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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