operation have a gay friend backfired
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
