New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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