I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I want her autograph on my taint
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
