I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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