she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
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Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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