My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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