Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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