ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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