let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize