Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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