Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
