apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
