Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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