did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
