yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
