took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
