It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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