i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
