Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How naked do you want me to be?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
