I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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