You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
