Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i believe in u and ur pee
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
