so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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