God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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