coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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