Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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