Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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