i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
