rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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