Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
