lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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