so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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