I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
