Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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