But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
