I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
