normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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