So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
