I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
