my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
