his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
