Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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