if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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