We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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