I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
