i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize