Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
