Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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