I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
