My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
