nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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