I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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