20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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