Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
